Why don't we say what we mean?

I've been tossing tons of ideas in my head recently about how people interact with each other. There's a verse about how we should speak the truth in love...Ephesians 4:15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. What does that mean anyway. I've also read several blogs about "To Judge or not to Judge" onhttp://aaronstern.typepad.com/aaron_sterns_blog/. For a while now before my husband and I moved to a small town, I had a very busy life, and full but I was so busy I didn't have much time to get to know anyone but my husband really. I had some close friends don't get me wrong, but never really got involved in the youth group too much I would show up most Sunday nights and help out. But ever since moving down here, I've had a chance to really get plugged into our church, and specifically our youth group. What I've noticed is a lot of people never really say what they mean. People that do say what they mean believe me I appreciate. Or if they have a real opinion of something, a lot of times that person is a "jerk", or folks get really offended by the truth. For example it was one of my good friends birthday's and I didn't even text her last night till like eleven. She could say oh that's okay whatever, but she should say to me you are a big jerk!! It's true. There is a huge difference between speaking the truth and being downright ignorant, but still to achieve unity and true friendship you must be honest and sometimes that means having conflict. Don't be afraid to tell someone if they've hurt you, and if your on the receiving end be humble and realize that hey you screwed up, and omg apologize! Crazy concepts I know.